Thursday, August 03, 2006

Things that really BUG me about traffic!

I'm in the car 1 to 2 hours a day, depending on traffic and my always errant sense of direction, and every day I see things that cheese me off.

In assending order:
10) Nose pickers. You'd think every adult would know by now that windows are see-through and the index fingers are NOT the finger to use to mine for "gold". Roll your nostril with your thumb - it's just as effective and as long as you don't turn your nose inside out, it's not as offensive.

9) People on cellphones. How can they expect to brake for me when I'm on mine?

8) Putting on make-up when you drive. It's not so bad when women do it, but men? Knock it off!

7) Eating. Look, certain foods aren't meant for driving and eating. String cheese is a n0-no, as is a foot-long sub with no wrapper. And especially not "gold" from number 10...

6) Reading. Okay, I read just about everywhere. Walking from car to work, at meals, in certain rooms that shall remain nameless, but NOT. IN. THE. DRIVER'S. SEAT!

5) Public displays of affection. 'Nuff said.

4) Rap "music". There are seismic faults around here and one of these guys is going to set them off!

3) Kerry/Roberts stickers. YOU LOST! (Being a loser is bad enough, advertising it is a whole 'nuther level...)

2) Hummers (sorry Mike). Those with soldier envy should go to Iraq.

and the number one thing that REALLY. CHEESES. ME. OFF...

1) SMOKERS! They are the reason I don't drive a Hummer because every time I see one of these idiots toss their butts out the window I wanna go all Smokey Bear on their butts - Down shift, climb some chrome and crush all those cigarettes they haven't lit yet - those ones in their soon to be squishy pockets! Somebody tell me why there isn't a bizzilion dollar fine for incendiary littering? They're DNA's right on the cancer end of the butt (and why would anyone stick something called a "butt" in their mouth????) it's not like we couldn't prove who's being a jerk!

Coincidently, the sermon last Sunday was on anger, but I was teaching so I didn't hear it. Cannya tell?


malissa said...

You really need to download Sunday's message!

damaris said...

wow. that made me laugh pretty hard. i just want you to know that i never put on make-up unless it's at a red light. even then i make sure i can go as soon as its green...whew. had to make sure i wouldn't get run over there!

hahaha. serioulsy tho, i had no idea you had so many pet peeves...

Rob said...

Ha! Ask your Dad, he knows thousands of them, (and no, he's not one of them).


Rob said...

Okay, new number 1 today:

A guy hanging out his window popping zits in the side mirror. New levels of "gross"...

beks said...

hahaha. yes, I would have to agree to your list.
I can honestly say, tho, that I do not put on makeup while driving, and only talk on the phone on very rare occasions :) as for the music... well, lets just leave that part alone.