Adventures is Ambien

Ambien is a prescription sleeping pill. Being a complete insomniac without Lynette, they are the only way for me to get any sleep (the only night I attempted it without, I was wide awake all night).

It's a fascinating drug. I take it a half hour before I want to be asleep and either read or watch a DVD episode. It's amazing, the next day I remember reading or watching, but I've forgotten everything else. If I finished a book, I had no idea how it ended.

Even more fun is the relative clarity of being on it before laying down. I feel awake and alert, then I stand and WHOA NELLY! The bottle says it causes dizziness, but really it turns you into a giant Weeble that wobbles but doesn't quite fall down. The upper body moves faster than the lower body, then you overcompensate and lean perilously back.

I haven't fallen down, yet, but last night I broke a mirror. Our full length mirror is now a half length mirror. No one was hurt, although the dogs wouldn't come out of their walk-in closet bedroom the rest of the night.

Cleaning the mess up while on Ambien was an experience. I didn't want to cut myself, but the floor seemed to be moving at a different speed than the walls. I had to clean it up though because their were shards all over the place and the dogs have eight bare feet among them. No cuts, and the only shards I missed were those that somehow made it onto the bed.

Lie down and you got out instantly, then you wake up the next day at 7:45. It doesn't matter what time I go to bed--11, 1, 3-- I'm awake at 7:45. The first couple weeks I wasn't groggy in the morning. I am now a little. And I think there's a little fuzz throughout the day.

This time without my wife and kids, while no fun at all, would be torture without that little pill. I hope I don't still need it when they get home (in TWO WEEKS!).